green with jealous rage

Lately I have been really envious of those who have the opportunity to LIVE.
All I have ever known is survival.
I have never gone without
however Snohomish is full of spoiled kids who have had everything handed to them on a platinum platter
kids who have never had the joy of a welfare christmas
who can ask their parents for money to go shopping
girls in the audi A4s and juicey sweatsuits carrying their coach handbags and matching wallets
...
It takes everything I have to pay my bills
I don't haave the luxury of going out to coffee with friends because $3.50 for a latte is beyond my means
I see my friends doing dinner and shopping dates that i have to decline because I simply can not afford it
i see my friends living at home, working part time jobs and going to school ( courtesy of mommy and daddys checkbooks) getting an education so that they can later provide for their families what was provided for them.

I on the other hand, have committed to the daily grind.
working my ass off to barely scrape by
I have to decline dinner dates
I have to come up with reasons other than
I'm broke and can't afford to go-embarassing

I'm jealous
that I can't have that
I'm jealous that they get the opportunity to be kids

I'm angry that being a kid has never been an option for me.