School??

I don't remember a time when I didn't value education. My dad used to tell me all the time that "an education is the one thing that no will will ever be able to take away from you." I believe this thouroughly and therefor don't understand how I did't finish High School. I could blame it on multiple differen't variables that existed during the time that I was in school...I got involved with the wrong crowd, I fell between the cracks, I was a confused and misguided youth without any support, I had an unstable home therefore didn't have support or structure...however; none of these excuses, no matter how valid they may seem, are not acceptable. I think the real reason I dropped out of high school with good grades 54 days before graduation is because I'm terrified of success.
Failure, is familiar to me. It's comfortable. When I'm down I know how to trudge through it. I am no staranger to "making it" and merely surviving from paycheck to paycheck. When I myself feel like a failure, others see me as someone who has been through a lot, a surviver. I know how to be that...but I've never been a success story.
I'm scared that if I were to succeed and I were to aquire an education and a career, that it would ultimately be taken from me. When you're on top, the fall is much further. You're expected to STAY on top and if you don't then your life becomes a tragic story and I feel I would crack under the pressure.

I love my job. It never feels like work. I can wear a smile and it's genuine because I know that I am helping someone. I am the reason why the elderly and disabled are able to continue living in their home. I know that a lot of people would be incapable of doing what I do and I am able to do it gracefully and perform my job well...but lately I have come to the sad realization that loving what I do with every fiber in my being is not enough, not only to provide the lifestyle that I someday hope to love but also it's not enough to even provide the money for my bills. therefore, it's neccessary for me to continue my education if i want to continue the nature of work that I do.

I know I'm capable.
I know I have what it takes.
I know that I'm smart enough.
I know that I could be very very successful...because of my love for helping others.

but my fear of having tried for something and failing is much larger than my desire to trudge (walk with purpose) towards my goal.

Despite my fear. I'm looking into my options, but just reading about what I have to do in order to be successful stresses me out. I need help from someone who has gone through the process of exactly what I'm trying to do.

I have NO CLUE how to do this.